Archive | November, 2012

Update – 7 weeks

27 Nov

So today, according to, I am 7 weeks.

It still feels surreal. 
I’m beyond happy and excited, and at the same time I try NOT to be.  I just have read so many sad stories on forums like hellobee, weddingbee, etc. Which is why I’m avoiding all of those like the Plague.  I am haunted by “loss” threads. HAUNTED.  I cannot go there in my mind.

So…. I am treasuring this little light that is growing brighter every day.

Slight nausea began at the end of week 5.  It was more of a ravenous hunger I’d feel if I didn’t eat lunch RIGHT AWAY.  Nothing was making me queasy or sick.  This week, I have started feeling more pregnant.  I made pasta with a sirloin sauce, and as I was making it, it was kind of grossing me out.  I had it for dinner Sunday night, and it just SAT there.  It felt like a big heavy rock. For hours.  I’d packed some for lunch the next day but wanted nothing to do with it.  So it seems I am having an aversion already? To sirloin. Hmm.  Also, I always have a sweet tooth.  Cupcakes never stand a chance with me!  There has been pumpkin pie, some cupcakes, and a peaches and cream cake in our refrigerator that has remained untouched and is entirely unappealing right now.  I know this sweets aversion

(?) probably won’t last for long, but while it does I’ll take it!


 I’ve been feeling more tired than usual too.  Hints of this began last week.  I always have neverending stores of energy.  I’d go to an amusement park after a day at the beach.  Last Friday, I had my nephew for the day and the plan was: lunch, Target, bowling.  I swear I wanted to end the day with lunch!  Of course I’d never break his heart so we did go bowling etc.  But I was so. tired.


My first appointment with the midwife isn’t until Dec 18!! That puts me at 10 weeks, which they say is typical for a “normal” pregnancy.  I don’t feel very “normal” since it was a struggle dealing with low morphology etc.  But I guess I have to trust them.  They also made Mr Wolf and I go to a pregnancy class, which was very informative.  Basically they told us no pain killers etc. in first trimester if possible.  Only Tylenol if dire need.  No turkey unless heated to steaming.  “But don’t go to Panera” for turkey. Whaaa?    Lunch ideas have been so difficult around my office!!! I never know what is safe so today I resorted to peanut butter and jelly, and yogurt, and a salad that I brought from home, carefully washed.  Last week I had a slice of pizza.  I read that Subway roasted chicken is OK.  And I’m thinking that grilled chicken sandwiches from fast food chains are OK too.  These are last resort/emergencies for when I don’t cook.  There will be days that I have no time!


By no means are any of the above complaints.  I feel blessed beyond words that I am pregnant.  I feel blessed that there is a growing baby inside of me.  I feel like I am holding something so delicate and sacred, and until I see the ultrasound Dec 18 I am proceeding cautiously and carefully with my emotions.


Can this really be?

7 Nov

So many months of seeing nothing but stark whiteness.  So many months of thinking that I’d never see those two beautiful pink lines on an HPT.

One year of TTC, and I finally see a positive test!!!  I was beginning to think that this didn’t exist for me in my world.

I’m waiting for a call from my doctor’s office about the next steps. I got some useful advice such as to ask them to check on progesterone levels immediately (especially since I had all of my infertility diagnostic blood work).  I need to ask if I should still be taking my thryoid medication too.

My mind is racing.  I couldn’t sleep at all last night.  I got maybe two hours of sleep total.  SO EXCITED!!! I pray that this baby grows and this is a healthy pregnancy.  (I really really really thought I’d never say those words, ever.)