Our baby girl is born!

27 Jul

Our baby was born 7/20 at 12:10 a.m.  She is PERFECT!  It literally feels like I have two lives: one before her birth, and this new one.  All I can do is stare at her sweet beautiful little face.  She is my strawberry.

Labor was the scariest most awful thing I have ever experienced.  I think what made it so was the whole induction process.  When I went into the appointment, my blood pressure had skyrocketed.  They asked me if Mr Wolf worked close, and I said he could be here in five minutes.  They told me to get him to come. When he arrived I’d been in the contraction/heartbeat monitor.  The midwife explained that based on blood pressure it wasn’t safe for either mommy or baby, and that they’d like to admit me for induction.  “Can I have lunch before we check in? I am starving!”  Yes, we can grab some lunch.  Mom had driven me to appointment, so we drove to Mr Wolf’s office so he could grab his things, then drove to the hospital.

They admitted me, and started me on oral meds that speed up dilation (was only 1 cm). They sent me away for three hours so that they could evaluate when I returned.  We went to my sister’s house who lived close by. Hung out with my nephew.  Then returned for another dose. They’d monitor for three hours and assess.  No progress at 11pm so they sent me home and told me to return at 9a.m.   So home we went. Watched some TV, cuddled in bed.  I didn’t feel contractions or anything.  Didn’t feel anything different.  Went back in…. another dose.  Nothing. They hadn’t started other methods because there were no beds available in labor and delivery (this whole time I was in triage).  So they finally got me a bed and wheeled me over.  (While in triage I went through several shifts of OBs and nurses. and whole time I was strapped to contraction/heartbeat monitor.  If I had to pee it was a fiasco cause then they’d forget to strap the machines back in etc. I also remember feeling grateful that all OBs were female thus far).

So when admitted, they tried administering the medication intermally.  And still no progress in cervix. However I started feeling contractions coming on, and they were rocking my world.  one of the OBs said that since no progress in cervix, I had to decide if I wanted more aggressive intervention (Foley balloon), or go home and wait until contractions “worsen”.  I already felt that they were awful and had I felt these at home would have rushed in, so I didn’t want to have to drive back and forth in this kind of pain.  In went the Foley Balloon. worst pain ever!! I was attached to so many things: the balloon, the catheter, the IV, the contraction / heartbeat monitor….  the entire time Mr. Wolf was so wonderful. Finallly the balloon worked (and the Pitocin… they started a very light dose) and I started dilating.  A male OB actually did the cervix check. I remember swearing up and down that I’d deliver baby myself before allowing a male OB near me (extreme I know – but just trying to point out how much I am opposed to male dr’s!)  Well I learned that when you are in labor you really don’t give a sh*t!  Anyway, then around 9pm a different OB (different shift) said that I’d be ready to push soon.  Anesthesia had come in to administer the epidural (which amazingly I didn’t even feel go in!)  I felt really strong at first.  Pushing wasn’t so bad.  The coaching from the OB, the nurse, and Mr. Wolf was really great!  But one hour in and I was losing steam.  At one point I almost had a panic attack- the room started spinning, I felt like I was making no progress, it got really hot…. I made Jarred point the fan at me, which they perched right by my pillow.  Miracle!  It renewed my energy a bit.  At 11:30 she kept saying I was close, the baby was almost out, but that she was concerned I didn’t have the energy to do it.  If it got past midnight, they’d have to do a C-section. (they’d made me put on an oxygen mask since her base heartbeat was lower.) I imagined her in distress while they wheeled me over to operating room, and knew that in the meantime I’d also be dealing with the contractions.  (One thing that was confusing was that they told me to push when I felt a new contraction, but I just couldn’t distinguish them apart! so I mainly “guessed”).  Anyway, I just couldn’t do that to her.  She’d asked earlier about using a vacuum and saying it was a last resort, and so I agreed to it now.  Suddenly the room was filled with like 10 people: pediatrics, anesthesiologists, etc.  SWARMING.  they later explaind it was standard procedure when using vacuum assist.  I mustered all the energy and with Mr. Wolf’s coaching five minutes later our baby girl was born!  they scooped her up and placed her on my chest and all I could feel was amazement.  “I did it! I did it !  My baby!” and I sang the little lullabies I sang to her when she was in my womb.  Her little eyes just stared at me, and I just couldn’t believe it.  An unreal feeling. The epidural wore off for some reason and I felt all the stitches, but holding my little girl made me not even care about the pain.  We had skin to skin for an hour, and then daddy got to hold her.  The look on his face… such love!  I was wheeled to my hospital room and helped into my bed.  The exhaustion, the love.  I finally allowed them to wheel her to nursery so I could rest for a bit.  it was a whirlwind, and a long three night stay even BEFORE the labor.. but it was all worth it.  And I got to eat skittles and starburst finally too! 

(I forgot to mention how I could only eat ice even before the epidural because anything else, even juice, I threw up!)

those first nights were TERRIFYING.  one of the nights I went to look for her in the nursery because I missed her so much, and they told me she was spitting up amniotic fluid. They assured me it was normal, but I was so afraid that it’d happen and I wouoldn’t notice and she’d choke on it.  They also assured me that by the time I brought her home, it would be gone.  They were right, but at the time I was petrified.  I was also too traumatized from labor experience, and too wired to sleep even though I had plenty of opportunity to do so with all the nurses to care for Baby.

Mr. Wolf stayed with me all those nights, crammed into a small recliner with his 6’6″ body.  I did let him go home a few hours, but when he got home he cried that he missed us and should never had left.  It was sweet.  He kept marveling how he didn’t know how strong I was, and how proud he was of me. He has several ideas for a “push present” which I think is sweet.

We are one week home with the baby, and I have finally been able to take longer naps.  I still stare and stare at her, to make sure she is still breathing.  Its so scary!  The first few nights she had trouble with the latch, but breastfeeding has gotten easier;  sometimes she works herself into a frenzy where she’s desperate for the boob and with one hand pushes it away and with another grabs it closer. ha, silly girl.

My hormones are all over the place.  The love is unreal.

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5 Responses to “Our baby girl is born!”

  1. Mrsgreengrass July 28, 2013 at 3:03 am #

    Congrats! So happy for you!

  2. Paula July 28, 2013 at 7:16 pm #

    Congrats! Sounds like a rough labor & delivery, but glad everything is ok and that she’s here!

  3. nonsequiturchica July 29, 2013 at 2:00 pm #

    Congratulations! I’m sorry that you had a tough delivery, but glad that everything turned out okay in the end!

  4. JustMe July 31, 2013 at 5:41 am #

    Oh congratulations!!!! I am so happy for you!! SO happy she’s here and healthy and all is well! Your labor sounds hard and it sounds like you did amazing. You found strength to get through it and push her out. Go you!

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